i dont know why i tear all of a sudden . what is happening to me . just a few minutes ago , i got a feeling that something just pierce through my heart . how come suddenly i felt pain . is missing you pain ? i really miss you alot . but words turn into lies . i been looking forward to tonight but everything you said , its like vanishing into the thin air . i really miss you . why cant i just have a chance to be with you once more . i would cherish every chance you give me . i would cherish , treasure and love you even more . but why am i still the one being hurt .

Why all you could say is for me to be happy . why , i dont want to be happy anymore every since july 9 . everything change . i am no longer happy . firefly want bee .

dont wish to say anything else le . bye .

My one and only ♥


who understands my heart . Who knows what i want .
why are you the one whom i love the most , the one whom gave me the sweetest memories and the one whom hurt me the most . Happy 1year 11months to you my beloved . i will always remember 28 .

28love , you gave me hope but its all false . you told me sweet stuff but its all lie . you let me think you will be back but you will never . every single thing you said , i remember i deeply but ended up , whatever you say are like needles . piercing through my heart. one by one . do you know how much it hurts ? i guess not . you are always the one being happy and i am the one all by myself , crying and hating myself .

28love , i know i am in fault . i tried changing but why dont i deserve another chance ? did i really ran out of chance ? today is the 172 i am waiting for you , i dont know how long it will last but i will last as long i could . sorry if one day i let go of you , its not because i dont love you anymore . its because i dont know how to love you nor myself anymore .

28love , why is everything i do useless to you le . i cant touch you anymore . no matter how far you are , i will be there to look at you at a side , fetch you home when you are alone . supply you with whatever you need . but all i get is a thanks . and that is all . a kiss from you , a hug fro you is enough .

28love , if there is a day that we could be back , i would cherish and love you even more . not letting myself or anyone else hurt you . protect you from all disaster and horror . prevent your heart from breaking and not let you tear nor bleed anymore . but i know , if there is this chance , you wouldnt want it . because . . .

28love , no matter what , i decided to wait for you . even till the day i enter the coffin , i want 28 to be crave on my coffin and a slide of us to be played during my funeral . i want every one whom is there to know how much i love you . every single person to take good care of you for me .

If you are a book , i will be the covering to protect you from dirts and dust .
If you are a wheel , i will be the outer layer of it to prevent you from having scratches and be the nice and pretty you .
If you are a balloon , i will be the string pulling you . not letting you run wild then burst .
If you are . . . If you are . . .
If you are mine , i will make you the happiest girl on earth . the prettiest princess and the most cheerful you .

Please dont cry anymore . be happy for every single day . let me be the on tearing over anything , everything . let me be the one sad and hurt every single day .

28november2o1o . i still love you . And i am still waiting for you my princess . BeeBeeMichelinTayAnnChing ♥

Happy Birthday Huimin sister ! !

Just woke up . finally can sleep till songsong le . i miss ♥ . i miss you so much but can you feel it ?
life is hard to past without you . living in the world of loneliness . doing things all by myself , no help nor care . i miss twenty-eight . when can it come back , or it will never be back le . haiz . there is a limit for waiting , a limit to my tolerance . please dont make me erupt by provoking me please .

Can someone tell me why am i always crying . maybe i am useless ba . everything hurts alot . what you commented . haiz . fine , i was so happy weeks ago but now ?! shag + sad . anyone knows how am i feeling now ?

Girl , i miss you . Can you sense that and miss me back ?
Girl , i want a hug from you . Will you be just right here to give me a hug ?
Girl , i want a kiss from you . Is a flying kiss coming to me now ?

We were as one for a moment in time .
And it seemed everlasting that you would always be mine .
Now you want to be free , so I'll let you fly .
Cause I know in my heart , our love will never die.

You'll always be a part of me , i'm part of you indefinitely .

Girl don't you know you can't escape me .
Oh darling cause you'll always be my baby .
And we'll linger on ,
Time can't erase a feeling this strong .
No way you're ever gonna shake me .
Oh darling , cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry .
And I won't beg you to stay .
If you're determined to leave girl .
I will not stand in your way .
But inevitably, you'll be back again .
Cause you know in your heart babe .
Our love will never end.

I know that you'll be back girl .
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder .
I know that you'll be right back baby .
Oh baby believe me it's only a matter of time.

Why do i always cry when i think of you .

Why do i smile whenever i look at you .

Why do i think of you whenever i am sad .

Why are all your words so hurting . Every thing that came out from your mouth are like needle . each and every piece of it piercing through my heart . Did i treat you that badly . my heart hurts alotalot . tears rolling down my cheek like a tap that cant be close . why my life is like this . i hate life . i hate myself . i hate everything . your life is painful , what about mine . every single day i wish for your return . every single night i look upon the star that is shining the brightest . its just like your cute and chubby face .

I just feel like hugging you tightly and never let you go . i want you TAY ANN CHING . I miss you so much . when can you be back mine . Firefy miss Bee .

我的心好痛。你能感受得到吗。

fucking sick now . having slight fever , severe headache and my nose kept running away from me !!! gosh , this feeling sucks to the core .

went work fliers just now . aunty amy last minute call . sick and work . tired and body is cramping . meet a girl just now , she is like sweet to the max lor . i started falling in love with you as days past :) dont doubt my love for you okay . because my heart can skip beat for a while , memories can be kept in the file . But nothing can stop a smile , when your name comes to my mobile . i always smile when answering your phone call . you lovely voice , sweet talks .

girl , when can you be mine ??? haiz , off to facebook le . bye

life is a boredom . suspended on Thursday , going back school tomorrow . last night ton with kiat , boy , shy , sam , eric ,min , ting hui and trisha . slacked at my house first , some was playing mahjong while some playing xbox . then laster went simei park slack . Day past so slowly without you , night passes so fast when i am thinking of you .

I sit here in sorrow, wishing I could hold you. I've realized that I've tried to replace you over and over since I made the foolish decision to leave you. But, no one can make me laugh and smile like you do. You are the only one that ever made me so happy. No one could ever take your place. I feel as if my soul has stolen my heart and left me to cry myself to sleep each and every night with guilt in my heart of how I hurt you. I guess you just don't realize what you have until it's gone. I was so stupid to leave you. I know sorry is just a word, but for what it's worth I am very sorry and I beg with every ounce of my soul please forgive me .

i pass every day with boredom while you are there enjoying yourself . no one know my heart is bleeding so profusely as i walk this path alone . everyone says you change . did you really change ? if its a yes , hope you are changing better and not to a person whom everyone dislikes okay :)

school sucks to the core today . you didnt come to school , no one to pei me . had RR . so bored man . luckily dheenan , yi ying , jing yu , ain and jacelyn was there . got people entertain :) slept the whole day . went mart at about 8 .

girl , i miss you for the whole day le . finally can meet you but quarreled . sorry for my attitudes and accusing you .

a second with you , my heart stop pumping . it hurts alot . who will understand how i am feeling right now . alone , all alone .

back to post ?
been a long time since i last post le ba . finally my internet is back and i shall post whenever i am free :) but also no one gonna come my blog de .

just came back from songka . so bored there , but must show respect . these few days been staying at simei . not gonna go down much so often le . slacking with a bunch of YPs there are really bored . doing nothing but just sitting down there and stare at others , finding problems ? they aint the bunch i gonna be with . with some BPC around too , making me feel disgrace knowing him . not gonna talk much about this anymore .

hi my dearest 28 . i am missing you so much right now . you are becoming from bad to worse le . every night hang out till so late then go home .always home later then me . why are you becoming so bad . you promise ah ma de things you never do . disappointed in you .

My heart aches when i talk to you .
My heart aches when i dont hear from you
My heart aches when i long for you .


You left me wondering around ,
No longer do I feel safe and sound .
Stumbling on your favorite red shirt ,
Cant keep in all of this hurt .
I loved you so damn much ,
That now I cry for your touch.
That no longer comes my way ,
No matter how much I beg and pray .
Into my bed I crawl alone ,
Just to smell your cologne .
It was a months ago since you said goodbye ,
But your smell still lingers by .
It fills my body with such distress ,
Turning me into a total mess .
You didnt think of what you would do to me ,
All you wanted was to be free .
So me being stupid I opened the door ,
I let you through and cried even more .
I closed it shut and heard you leave ,
Footstep heading away from me .
You say that we were not meant to be ,
How do you dare say that to me .
I hold my broken heart in my hand ,
Trying to keep it together the best I can .
But no matter how much glue I use ,
I still cry and feel abused .
For in this prison called my room ,
I keep memories of me and you .
They haunt me every second of the day ,
I just wish this pain would go away .
I gathered all your things today ,
Put them in a box and hid them away .
But I kept something to make me smile ,
I found it and took it from the pile .
A picture of you holding me ,
A memory of what we used to be .

28th love , no matter how long it take . how much i have to go through , how much pain it take . i will still be waiting for you . ba zhang love beebeemichelintayannching for life , for eternity and forever .

2nd day since we part T.T

currently at jon house . went here take thing . goin back le .

haiz . i feeling very down . my heart is falling of soon . i am breaking down le .

my princess , i miss you alot . i want you back . although you dont wanna have a relationship now , its okay . i will wait . you dad say 18 years old then can have bf . i will wait till that day . i will personally knock on your house door. asking your dad for permission to be with you . or even to marry you . i am not thinking to much . i really love you alot .
i can wait . i will wait . i must wait .

goodbye guys :)

didn't post for a long time . gonna post today for YOU .

Girl , since 28 January 2009 . You beenery good girlfriend towards me . You amper me with love , gift and many more . Sory that i didn't cherish you and treasure you . Sory that i hurt you so much . I dont know that to say le . But here is something for you .

I am sorry for the times you cried and the loneliness you felt inside .
I am sorry for the way things were and the selfishness that you endured .
I am sorry for the night we lost and the pain it cost .
I am sorry for the love you missed , losing you make me realise this .
I am sorry that i was not the man you deserved , this is the hardest lesson i learnt .
I am sorry that i was not there to show , the deepest love you will ever know .
I am sorry for the for the empty day and the stress you yet pay .
I am sorry for the way i left . I never felt so regret .
I am sorry for the heart i broke, that shattered with the word i spoke .
I am sorry for the empty space , that laid beside you in my space .
I am sorry for the empty arms , which you fell into when times were hard .

BeeTayAnnChing , sorry for all mistake and wrong that i have done . Please forgive me . wish you happiness and find a good boyfriend . thousand million times better than me .

Couples out there , in life there is about giving in and taking it . I didnt get this point at the beginning causing all this to happen . cherish you love one . but too , dont neglect you friends . i did the wrong thing . hope you guys may last long with partner .

To Huimin :
sorry for all the scolding and misunderstanding . i am worst than a dog . please forgive me for whatever i have done wrong . Hope you can take good care of ann ching for me . stay happy and find you love one soon :)

To Chanel :
Sorry that i scold you and hate you for all these days . i know you will be happy to not see me anymore . Hope you guys will enjoy slacking and stuff from now on . Take good care of annching for me . and also , please for give :)

To Kitty :
I trust that you will take good care of ann ching . i believe everything you tell me is true . i know i am bad towards bee . But i seek for forgiveness in this post . Sorry for all my mistake and wrongs . Please take good care of annching and let her stay happy . thanks :)


But still , i love you .

Happy Valentines' Day / Happy Chinese New Year

Hello loves! :D

It's beebee here. Dear's computer is down, so its been months since he posted. I shall keep his blog alive again, I guess. Oh, i wanted to update abt the surprise he gave me. But i like so luosuo, so i dont type better lah :x hehe. Wanna read, go my blog!Hehe. Oh, Idk what to post also. But i only know that baby's currently still sleeping! And, it's already 12.19PM already... Hmph /: I guess i'd be going Old Airport Road to look for baby & his mummy's side family. I wanna get angbaos! $$$ Hehe :x sound so money face. And also, i guess soon its time for baby to come my place and get angbaos also! Idk which day but i'll arrange a day for baby, alright? Idk if baby will be reading or not. But i just update for the sake of making him happy and keep this blog alive.

Hmph I guess i'll just update till here. A few pictures to end the post. MUACKS BABY.

happy one year anniversary baby!

Hello readers, its been 4months since i last updated my blog. but today, for bee's sake, im going to update. rubber duckey, rubber duckey. Dont know why so hyper now. Ok la i stop here. I LOVE BEEBEETAY. [: